3 Ways You're Self-Sabotaging Your Relationships
When a friendship or romantic relationship goes awry, it's natural to put a majority of the blame on the other party. However, when failed relationships seem to be your norm, it might be time to stop shifting blame outward and start looking inside. Learn some of the common ways people sabotage their relationships.
1. You Can't Let Things Go
It's natural and healthy to get upset when someone does something that hurts you or that you don't like. What is not healthy, however, is when you can't seem to move past the event even when the other person has apologized and has taken action to rectify the situation.
For instance, if your friend didn't show up to your dinner party two years ago and you still bring it up, you're only hurting your relationship. People don't want to feel like spending time with a person is a chore or laborious task, and if you always throw their shortcomings in their face, you will create this type of situation.
2. You Constantly Want to Keep Up
Particularly when it comes to romantic relationships, people never want to be compared to the next person. For instance, if you and your best friend both started dating your partners at the same time, but they're engaged and you're not, your partner does not want to constantly hear about the fact that you feel like their relationship has progressed and yours hasn't.
To be in a healthy relationship, you need to be comfortable in your skin and able to realize that just as every person is different, so is every relationship. Constantly trying to keep up with others puts undue pressure on the other person that can push them away.
3. You're Not an Individual
Both friendships and romantic relationships should be a complement to a person's life; they should not be all-consuming. Whether it's a friend that you expect to invite you to every outing or a romantic partner that you expect to spend every waking moment with you, not being an individual can sabotage a relationship.
Remember, the other person was attracted to the individual you are, so don't lose sight of that. Take the time to stay active with your hobbies and even look for new ways to remain independent.
The ability to recognize your toxic behavior is more than half of the battle. The more self-aware you are, the better you can navigate through your relationships. Consider checking out a few self help podcasts for more information.